Recent Bear Sightings

In the past week, I have been randomly attacked by bears three times! Three.

The first occurred when I was at the movie theater with my godmother. We were going to see Morning Glory, and, on the way to the auditorium, I decided to go to the restroom. When I returned from the restroom I saw this sign:

"Great thing come in bears."

What? First of all, not funny. Second, not true. Great things don't come in bears...many things can be located inside bears, but 99.99% of the time these things cannot be classified as "good."

List of things that can possibly be located in bears:

1. Butt plugs for hibernation

2. Fangs, blood, and rage

3. Berries and squirrels

4. Honey

5. Human remains

The second bear attack came while I was perusing www.daytrotter.com. This is a wonderful website that I suggest everyone check out. I was going through a list of bands with sessions available for downloading when out of the blue, in the "B" section, this appears:

I hope there are no bears in heaven. 

Seriously? Bands named after bears? I approve. 

The last attack came merely an hour ago. I often stumble in my spare time (www.stumbleupon.com) and I came across an article about animals and spirituality. I was going to keep on stumbling and ignore this article when I saw the following paragraph:

Bear Worshipers

Arctolatry, the worshipping of bears, is one of the world’s oldest religious beliefs. Dating back to Neolithic times, the bear has always been a highly revered animal. Primarily a North American and Eurasian belief, bear worship dates back to Neanderthal societies. In ancient Western European society, the goddess of wildlife always appeared as a bear. Similarly, the Greek goddess Artemis appears in the form of a bear. The Nivkhs, an Ancient Russian society, offer a bear in celebration to honor a fallen solider. In Japan, the Ainu people name bears kamui, which means "god." The Ainu people would eat bear, as they believed that the animal’s fur and meat were a gift from the gods.

Obviously, I was excited. Of course, I was previously aware of the power of bears. From a very young age, I was convinced that bears were magical beings (probably because I spent my childhood reading books like East by Edith Pattou). But "arctolatry?" I had never heard of it...my Word Processor didn't even recognize it. I have decided to dabble in arctolatry.

I'll keep you updated on my progress.